So, I shot a wedding today... and weddings always do... something... to me. It is hard to explain the kind of emotional pinball I go through after weddings, but this one kind of surprised me. I only kne w2 people in attendance and barely knew the bride... I first met the bride in College through livejournal (like 8-9 years ago) through our mutual friend, who is an ex-girlfriend (but an awesome one). We met in person at her college graduation and the next time we hung out was mid-October after the SFA / Sam Houston Football game. That night her now husband, (then on and off boyfriend), my ex and a few others hung out at a bar for a while and just talked. The impression I was given, was that she really just wasn't that into him. Little did I know they had both gone back and forth a bit... but she really just didn't seem that into him. Then, a few months later I get a message that they had gotten engaged and want me to shoot their wedding... so I agree which brings us to last night and today. My Word have they come such a long way. When I saw them 6 months ago I was sure they would end soon, and today I watched full of hopeful envy that I could have such a relationship full of love and sacrifice for one another. They really were just so sweet and had so much fun and it showed how much I'd like to have something like that. But, it still gets me that 6 months ago I wouldn't have believed it!
With that, It makes me realize a few things...
1. First, just because a relationship doesn't start off sunshine and rainbows doesn't mean it can't have a happy ending.
Relationships take time to cultivate, marriages take work to get to and to thrive
2. Second, I long for someone who is just going to love me and who wants to be around me and doing life with me...
Or, do I have to go back to the first statement and work through something?
3. I need to figure out what it is that causes my relationships to fail and change it
I'm 28 and single, there are obviously some issues holding me back...
It will be an interesting process figuring these out and getting all of this straight in my head...
but, for now, the post wedding blues will persist, unfortunately I feel I have no one to go through it with currently, which is sad being that I've been getting to know someone lately... I wonder if that is a good way of putting things in perspective. But, that all is another post, another day...
